MJ: SnarkBot3000’s American Idols Tour 2009 Milwaukee, WI Recap

One of the longest recaps I’ve read and the guy(girl?) definitely earns the name Snark but I think overall it’s a good report of Danny in MilGokey

But I always hoped that someone from my home state of Wisconsin would be on the show. So imagine how excited I was when Danny Gokey was featured on the audition shows this season. At first Danny was a favorite of many. People actually seemed to like his voice. But then the mentions of his recently deceased wife were seen as trying to get sympathy votes. And then when the stories about his church and pastor came out, I knew it was over. On a lot of sites he would become this season’s most despised contestant. Just like Kat McPhee and scores of others before him, Danny would be this season’s whipping boy. So I guess I learned the hard way that you should be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it all and then some you don’t want. Damn it Daughtry, must you always be right?

DANNY GOKEY: I wanted to give the local boy Danny a gift but since the economy is so bad I didn’t have a lot of spare cash to spend. So I decided to fill up a gift bag with all the crap I bought from those annoying commercials on TV. I mean since I saw him on TV, isn’t it appropriate to give him things “as seen on TV?” I wonder what he thought when he opened up that pretty gift bag (the one with a rendering of a rainbow and a unicorn on it) and saw a Snuggie, a Sham-wow and a half used gallon of Oxy-Clean. Sorry Danny, but I’m keeping the Mighty Putty. I just may need it to make any repairs from shaking my robo-booty all night long. But on to his performance…

Since this was Danny’s homecoming show, he got the loudest and most sustained cheers. This is also the only time that I noticed people in the lower and upper levels standing. People stood for his entire set and then sat back down sometime during Adam’s set. They did stand again for Adam and Kris, but only through parts of their sets. Also, the cheers were very loud but they really subsided when he began singing. Thankfully, people here like to listen to the artist more than they want to hear themselves screaming. Danny opened with Michael Jackson’s “PYT (Pretty Young Thing)” and he really got the crowd going. As a matter of fact, I swore I saw the ghost of Michael Jackson dangling a little ghost baby over the balcony in the upper deck during this song. And I think we can all agree that there is no higher praise than danglin’ yo baby so take that jellus h8ers!

For the most part, I thought his voice sounded strong and was especially good on “What Hurts The Most.” He really got into that song and that’s probably the kind of stuff he should sing. His speech didn’t seem religious to me but I haven’t been to church for probably 20 years so maybe that’s how people talk there nowadays. I personally don’t care if an artist talks about their religion be it Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or atheist for that matter. Or bring up their politics, either. As long as they focus on the music and don’t talk all night I’m cool. Danny’s not the most articulate guy but he seems to have good intentions. And maybe some people will derive some inspiration from him. Someone told me at one of the Season Five concerts that Taylor Hicks changed her life. I replied that the only thing I needed to change after seeing Taylor Hicks was my adult diaper. And no, she didn’t find that amusing and instantly changed her seat so I guess I changed her life in some small way too.

Let’s talk about douche. I don’t get why people call him that. Who came up with that insult anyway? There’s nothing wrong with douche. Some people find it to be a very helpful product. I mean the word douche comes from the french word for shower. And who doesn’t like showers? Highly illogical insult to call someone a french shower. And a douche bag is used for body cavity irrigation which can also be very helpful. So by using that term you’re basically calling someone a device to irrigate body cavities. How logical is that? Anyway, as far as I could tell, Danny didn’t cry or break down or anything. Wisconsin was very proud to have an American Idol from Milwaukee who made it on the show. And maybe his buddy Jamar will make it on tour next year. That would be great because then the tour would again come to Milwaukee and I wouldn’t have to drive to Chicago (damn tolls).

I don’t know how Danny’s country CD will do. I actually only own one country CD and it’s that Loretta Lynn one that has Jack White from The White Stripes on it. Oh, and I have the essential Johnny Cash CD. So I’m no expert on country music. It does seem like it’s pretty varied so he can lean towards pop or whatever. I think that outside of the Idol bubble and the wacky competitive fan bases he should do okay and I wish him and his foundation only the best.

Danny’s role on Gilligan’s Island: Mr. Howell the millionaire

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